And I don’t mean the contract you sign with an agency. I believe that each relationship is built on a contract: Spouses, Significant Others, Parent/Child, even Friends. Informal and often unspoken, each contract defines interactions and expectations for the relationship. At the most basic level it defines what you are willing or not willing to do for one another. Imagine … [Read more...]
Moving Mom and Dad: Helping Parents Cope With Big Changes
Tips to minimize all the stress. No one likes to see their parents lose independence. After years of working and raising a family, we want our parents to be rewarded with a fulfilling retirement. Downsizing the family home and moving them into your home, assisted living, or a 55+ community can seem like the opposite of that goal. The truth is, your parents will have a safer, … [Read more...]
Touch Can Open The Door To Communication With Your Aging Parent
The intimacy of touch. One of my earliest childhood memories is lying on the couch with my head in my mother’s lap while a violent thunderstorm rolled through. I was scared. Mom began stroking my hair and her gentle touch calmed me. It made me feel safe and loved. This weekend, cutting my mother’s hair, I remembered that time. We caregivers often perform intimate tasks. … [Read more...]
Three Things I’ve Learned as My Parents’ Caregiver.
None of them have anything to do with medicine. When I tell my caregiver story, I always start when dad was first hospitalized. That was when I was hit with being fully responsible for mom. I would lie in bed at night thinking, “Where do I start?” “What do I do next?”. What I’ve realized: 1. My caregiver role started way before I recognized it. It started when I made the … [Read more...]
A Different Type Of Grief – Why Do I Feel Like I’m losing Dad All Over Again?
It is five years since dad died and I'm finding it hard to remember our life together. I wrote this article two years ago when grief took an unexpected twist. On the 5th anniversary of dad's passing, grief has changed again. I can't believe he is gone five years already. It seems longer and at the same time it seems like yesterday. In the busyness of everyday I'm having a hard … [Read more...]