“When people set boundaries with you, it’s their attempt to continue the relationship with you. It is not an attempt to hurt you.” Elizabeth Earnshaw I often talk about the importance of setting boundaries and spell out strategies for an intentional conversation which help in these difficult discussions. I consider boundaries to be the foundation of self-care. So much so, … [Read more...]
Will You Have To Repay Your Mom’s Debt After Her Death?
Have you taken care of a family member or your parents and are worried about the deceased person’s debt? Will you have to repay your mother’s debt? Well, typically, you don’t inherit the debt of your parents or a family member unless you have cosigned on a loan or have taken out a credit card together. You are not liable to repay the debt, even if you’re the only … [Read more...]
I never promised mom… Then why do I feel so guilty?
When your head knows it’s the right decision, but your heart is breaking. One of my promises to myself when I became mom’s caregiver is that I would never promise her anything unless I was 100% sure I could deliver. It is why I never promised her I could always keep her in our family home. My expectation was that at some point she would need to be in a wheelchair and, given … [Read more...]
Thank You. Two Words That Mean The World To A Caregiver.
“Caregiving is hard, even on the good days when it brings happiness. It requires commitment, dedication, determination and time.” First Lady Rosalynn Carter As someone who has been a family caregiver for seven years, there has been a marked increase this last year in the number of hours mom needs hands-on care and that is on top of keeping her safe in the middle of a … [Read more...]
Language Matters in Caregiving.
That includes what we tell ourselves. If you know my work, you know how much I object to the term “Parenting Your Parents.” I object because language carries intent and bias and we don’t even realize it. The words we use to describe caregiving, our care partner and ourselves create our truth as caregivers. When caregiving is about parenting your parents, without even … [Read more...]