The good, the bad and the ugly. The good. Your parent has full capacity. This gives you the opportunity to co-create a team approach to caregiving through conversations and setting boundaries. The bad. Over time, confrontational conversations can cause broken relationships. Conversations contribute to the disintegration of the relationship when they are not done using … [Read more...]
Connect with Your Elder Through Family Stories. A Project for 2020.
Your elder had a full and rich life before becoming a parent and grandparent. Mom and I hosted Christmas Eve this year and it was lovely. Eleven cousins gathered around our table. We reminisced about my grandfather and their grandmother who were siblings. We vowed that this would be the year we got together and made homemade ravioli from the family recipe. The youngest are in … [Read more...]
“Old Ain’t Dead” Gramps
We don’t give our elders enough credit. Gramps was mom’s dad. An active, debonair ladies’ man, who buried two wives and a girlfriend during his 91 years. And by example, he taught me some important life lessons. Let me tell you a story about my grandfather that makes me smile and sums him up well. The last years of his life he lived in cooperative affordable housing near … [Read more...]
Confessions of a Cranky Caregiver
It happens and I have to own it. Typically, I’m a glass-half full person, able to let many things roll off my back. Until I can’t. Then I get cranky. By the way, being cranky isn’t a bad thing, we all have those moments (or days). But my attitude affects mom’s attitude, and it can turn into a downward spiral quickly if we’re not careful. I’ve given a lot of thought to … [Read more...]
I Want To Die With Dignity And Grace
The way I lived my life. I recently came across my dad’s Five Wishes Advance Directive. He used this legal document to plan and ensure his end-of-life wishes were known in the event he was unable to communicate. The person he’d named as first was himself. My sister-in-law followed, and I was third. My father didn’t shy away from tough conversations or hard decisions. He faced … [Read more...]