We don’t give our elders enough credit. Gramps was mom’s dad. An active, debonair ladies’ man, who buried two wives and a girlfriend during his 91 years. And by example, he taught me some important life lessons. Let me tell you a story about my grandfather that makes me smile and sums him up well. The last years of his life he lived in cooperative affordable housing near … [Read more...]
Confessions of a Cranky Caregiver
It happens and I have to own it. Typically, I’m a glass-half full person, able to let many things roll off my back. Until I can’t. Then I get cranky. By the way, being cranky isn’t a bad thing, we all have those moments (or days). But my attitude affects mom’s attitude, and it can turn into a downward spiral quickly if we’re not careful. I’ve given a lot of thought to … [Read more...]
A Different Type Of Grief – Why Do I Feel Like I’m losing Dad All Over Again?
Why can't I remember dad before he got ill? In the ebb and flow of grief, the unexpected new stages amaze me. I didn’t anticipate this third Christmas without dad to be so hard. I dreaded the first and was surprised by the relative ease with which I got through it. Even the second Christmas did not have the all-consuming grief and depression of this one. Maybe it’s because the … [Read more...]
When Talking to Aging Parents – Choose Your Words Carefully
"Mom, don't you remember?" I have years of conditioning to my mother’s communication style. Mom thinks about things deeply, questions everything, and like all of us, makes assumptions. Her thought process often ends up with her having a fight with you in her head. Suddenly she is mad, and you have no idea why. Or she is thinking about something and will ask you a question … [Read more...]
How Caregivers Can Cope with Their Feelings as Parents Age
What feelings to expect at the first signs your elderly parents need help. Changes in your aging loved ones can be subtle at first. They start to forget appointments or names. They repeat the same story to you over and over again. You notice they are less organized, the house is messy, and their appearance maybe not be as put together. The realization sets in: “My aging … [Read more...]