Wait, What? Why?
Parents and sexuality. Here are two words that adult children don’t want to put together or acknowledge. Add to that the word dementia and you go from TMI to complete disbelief and feelings that are incredibly difficult to process.
I had the good fortune to hear Rebekah Wilson of Aging Care Coach, LLC present on just this topic: Sexuality in Dementia. Rebekah does an amazing job of taking this difficult subject and making it OK. Her insight into how dementia works, along with her research into intimacy, helped me to understand and normalize the idea of sexuality and dementia.
It is important to understand that adults with dementia have intimacy needs like any other senior. It doesn’t matter if the person with dementia is living at home or in a memory care facility. Chances are good the topic will come up and you should be prepared.
Here are some of the insights Rebekah shared, and why we talked about her writing this article.
- If the caregiver at home is the opposite sex of the person with dementia and they look like the spouse, the person with dementia may think the child IS the spouse. And this can lead to inappropriate sexual behavior.
- If a person with dementia is living in a memory care unit and they form a loving bond with another person in the facility, recognize that they don’t know that they are still married. What they know, is they are sharing meals and living space with someone that they like, just as they did with their spouse.
These are just a few of the AHA moments I came away with after Rebekah’s presentation. I can’t speak to the emotions children of people with dementia feel when these situations arise, because this is not our story. But I do think it is critically important to address sexuality in dementia head on. And to help family members understand what may happen and why.
Click here to read Rebekah’s full article: Sexuality in Dementia
With thanks to Rebekah Wilson:
Rebekah Wilson, MSW, is a dementia care specialist, trainer and the owner of Aging Care Coach, LLC with fourteen years of experience in elder care services including hospice, home health care, assisted living, and care management. In these arenas, she has used her specialties in teaching, community outreach, marketing, and developing innovative strategies for providing comfort care for seniors and their care partners. She has presented at local, state, and national conferences as a trainer on Alzheimer’s disease, Frontotemporal Dementia, Behavior Management, Navigating Transitions and other caregiving topics. As a Care Coach/Care Manager, she serves as a dementia care consultant mentoring care partners in developing individualized non-pharmacological interventions and innovative care solutions. Rebekah has devoted her career to improving quality of life for seniors and supporting those involved in their care. She considers it an honor to help those navigating the aging process. It would be an honor to help you and your loved ones navigate and THRIVE – not just survive – the aging process.
Disclaimer: The material in this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace, nor does it replace, consulting with a physician, lawyer, accountant, financial planner or other qualified professional.
