Some days it feels like yesterday that I got the call she had passed during the night. Other days it feels like it happened years ago. Grief is such a complex emotion that is different for everyone. That is why it feels so complicated to me because there is no formula. I have been surprised this past year by how often the grief I feel at losing mom is doubled by the grief of … [Read more...]
What your family needs to understand about the limits you set.
“When people set boundaries with you, it’s their attempt to continue the relationship with you. It is not an attempt to hurt you.” Elizabeth Earnshaw I often talk about the importance of setting boundaries and spell out strategies for an intentional conversation which help in these difficult discussions. I consider boundaries to be the foundation of self-care. So much so, … [Read more...]
The Ultimate Act of Self-Care.
“How about if we just get really good at practicing extreme imperfection. Could this be the ultimate act of self-care?” Anne Tumlinson, Founder of Daughterhood.org Lord knows I’m imperfect. Like everyone, I’ve made mistakes in my personal and professional life and certainly as a caregiver. Yet, it’s the mistakes as a caregiver that stick with me more than the others. I am … [Read more...]
Caregivers, does your support system include old friends? I hope so.
The thing about old friends is not that they love you but they know you. Anna Quindlen, Lots of Candles, Plenty of Cake. I love this quote from Anna Quindlen. I am fortunate to have friends that have been a part of my life for over 40 years. Not only do they know me in all my craziness and still love me, but they knew my parents as well. The perspective they brought to my … [Read more...]
Caregivers don’t expect to feel good about every decision.
“Don’t expect to feel good about every decision. Making decisions is like setting boundaries. You have to do it, but it will never feel good.” Anne Tumlinson, Daughterhood.org Making decisions as a caregiver is too often done under pressure while feeling like we don’t have enough information or experience. Certainly, health decisions are the most stressful but financial … [Read more...]