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“Perfection and dementia cannot co-exist. Dementia offers do overs.” Tracy Cram Perkins, Author

June 29, 2023 by Debra Hallisey

to show how reminiscing over photos with someone with dementia

This quote from Tracy Cram Perkins* is one of my favorites from my book, A Relationship Contract for Dementia Caregivers for several reasons. Certainly, one of them is that the person with a memory impairment who has short-term memory loss won’t remember when you told them no. But if “no” is said when our behavior shows our anger and frustration, that is a problem. As I write … [Read more...]

Caregivers deserve their own care plan.

June 19, 2023 by Debra Hallisey

Woman head thrown back laughing

Have you created yours? When you truly understand that you are the most important person in this caregiving scenario, then creating a care plan for yourself is not a luxury, it is a necessity. It requires self-awareness, intentionality and the willingness to adapt it as you go along. The goal of your care plan is to write down what and WHO adds to your mental, physical and … [Read more...]

“You are the most important person in this caregiving scenario, not the person living with dementia.” Amy Matthews, Dementia Educator

June 5, 2023 by Debra Hallisey

caregiver anxiety stress

The first in a series for dementia family caregivers. Amy Matthews is someone I deeply respect. She is the person I collaborate with on dementia articles for the website. She is the person I went to for guidance on my new book for dementia family caregivers. When I first heard her say, “You are the most important person in this caregiving scenario, not the person living with … [Read more...]

Wait, what? Now that caregiving has ended, I can plan ahead for a vacation in 2024?

May 15, 2023 by Debra Hallisey

Show the beauty of vacationing at Glacier National Park

I still can’t wrap my head around being able to take a vacation. I have friends in California who cruise to the most amazing places. I am happy to hear about their plans for the next cruise through the Mediterranean or the Panama Canal and how cool it is to visit Antarctica. But I must admit, as happy as I was for them, I was jealous as well. It wasn’t just the amazing … [Read more...]

The Feeling of Waiting for The Other Shoe to Drop Does Not End When Caregiving Ends.

May 1, 2023 by Debra Hallisey

woman feeling sad petting her dog

Fight, Flight or Freeze (Acute Stress Response) are all psychological trauma responses that caregivers know well. You hear caregivers say, “I’m always waiting for the other shoe to drop.” That’s because we are constantly on edge waiting for the next crisis that will upend our life and require interaction with the healthcare system, insurance company, home care agency or … [Read more...]

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Deb Hallisey is a caregiving consultant available for advisory services, speaking engagements, and guest blog articles.

To reach out to Deb:
Advocate for Mom and Dad LLC
P.O. Box 55340
2601 Brunswick Pike
Lawrenceville, NJ 08638

deb@advocateformomanddad.com

@advocatemomdad

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