It’s not easy to imagine your parents being gone, but you need to ask questions while they’re here.
Here’s what to discuss while your parents are still alive.If your parents are still with you, consider yourself lucky. Not only do you get to be with them, but you also have time to ask the questions you risk leaving unanswered about their wishes moving forward. But it can be difficult to broach certain subjects. If that’s the case, share this article with them, and set up a time to talk (inviting siblings and other friends and relatives as you all see fit), using the following list as a discussion plan about what to discuss while your parents are still alive.
Health and Death
It might be best to get the least comfortable subjects out of the way first. When it comes to their health, there may come a time when you need to make several major decisions. Find out if your parents have a living will, and discuss how they wish their medical care to proceed if they’re unable to communicate. Ask if they want a do not resuscitate (DNR) order in place if they stop breathing. If their lungs fail, do they wish to be put on a ventilator, and for how long? Do they plan to donate their body or organs? Do they want you or someone else to make all medical decisions? And so forth. Also, funeral arrangements are a discussion in and of themselves. You should consult an attorney at some point, but start the conversation sooner than later.
Power of Attorney
It may never happen, or it may not happen for some time. However, you should still discuss receiving power of attorney from your parents to make financial and other decisions for them as they get older and have difficulty with such matters. At base, power of attorney allows you to make financial decisions for your parents, as well as the healthcare decisions mentioned above. You may also receive the power to choose a guardian and healthcare providers.
Financial Matters
It seems like every conversation turns to money at some point, but it definitely makes up a big part of any end-of-life discussion. Very likely, you and your parents have some basic idea about their collective funds, but you and any other guardians need to know how to handle things for them in the future. Assess their savings, assets, Social Security, and other assistance they currently have, and then calculate all their expenses and debts. Evaluate and consider what to do with certain assets, like vacation homes or timeshares, that might be nonessential at this point. See if they’ll need financial help from you or any other children they might have. Review their life insurance and other policies, as well as how to make claims. A will is an absolute necessity. Once again, consult an attorney about how to proceed.
Talk!
Want to know what to discuss while your parents are still alive? Everything! Have all the important conversations. Ask them to share every story, every memory of a deceased relative, and every happy moment you had together. Keep the conversation going.
Disclaimer: The material in this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace, nor does it replace, consulting with a physician, lawyer, accountant, financial planner or other qualified professional.
