I learned early in this caregiving journey to ask for and say yes to help. It has sustained me through the last seven years. What I have recently learned is that sometimes I need help and it has nothing to do with mom.
Over the last two plus months, I moved in with mom while we made the transition to assisted living. I left my house on December 30th and did not sleep in my own bed until March seventh. Trips home were long enough to pick up mail, make sure the lights I left on still worked and in general, a quick trip to take care of personal or professional business.
Saying yes to help during this time meant friends and family and stayed with her while I took care of hundreds of details. They worked alongside me to pack up what mom needed for the move and get the furniture ready for the move. They were wonderful. But I was taken aback when a friend said, “What can I do for you?”
Wow. I was so focused on mom that I had not thought of what it meant to pick up the pieces of my life again. So, I asked her to pack up my clothes the day of the move and drop them off at my house. I asked my cousin to stay at the house until the movers left and then bring my dog back to my house and hang out with him for a while since it would be a long day. Then I asked a friend if she could come to my house and help me put away Christmas decorations. Yes, Christmas decorations were still up.
Here is a reminder on how to ask for and say yes to help. Not only are you allowed to ask for help for yourself, I urge you to do it using these tips.
Disclaimer: The material in this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace, nor does it replace, consulting with a physician, lawyer, accountant, financial planner or other qualified professional.
Deb is available as a caregiver consultant. She will answer the question: “Where do I start?” and find the resources to alleviate your stress. If you would like to invest a half hour to learn how she can help you, please contact her at: Free 30 minute consulting call
Deb is the author of “Your Caregiver Relationship Contract.” Available in both English and Spanish, this book explains how to have an intentional conversation and the how unspoken expectations can cause problems during caregiving. Click here to learn more about Your Caregiver Relationship Contract or here for the Spanish version: Su Contrato de relación como cuidador de un ser querido.