Not all the emotions are pretty.
When I started on this caregiving journey, panic was the overwhelming emotion. Panic was soon joined by feeling overwhelmed. Overwhelmed by all the decisions that had to be made and all the choices in front of us. Which one was best? Was it the right one physically, emotionally, financially for mom? At that point what I needed didn’t even figure into the equation.
We are two years into this journey now and at times I still can’t believe we are here and how much my life has changed along with moms. Frankly at times feelings of resentment run high. How long will this go on? Will there be enough money? What happens if there is not?
I am still adjusting to this new life and acceptance comes in fits and starts. Panic still comes and goes with all the unknowns still ahead of us. And resenting what is yet to come and the impact it will have on my life makes me feel guilty. But this is the reality of being a caregiver.
A while ago a ran across the website Daughterhood.org. Started by Anne Tumlinson. I have appreciated the insight and caring work of this group. Anne has sent spent her entire career working in government doing policy research and consulted to nursing homes, assisted living providers and home care companies to improve how America delivers and pays for care of our aging loved ones.
Please read her article “The 3 Unexpected Stages of Daughterhood”. Once again, she has touched my heart and my mind. I find myself almost two years later moving between stages 1 and 2, which I didn’t even realize until I read the article. And don’t miss the downloadable Declarations found on her website. “Setting Boundaries” is on my refrigerator as a constant reminder that setting boundaries is not only OK, it is a necessity.
Used with permission from Daughterhood.org
Disclaimer: The material in this blog is for educational purposes only. It is not intended to replace, nor does it replace, consulting with a physician, lawyer, accountant, financial planner or other qualified professional.